One of the best things my husband and I ever did for each other after becoming parents was giving each other the night off from parenting.

But wait, shouldn’t you want to spend every single moment with your darling cherub? And the answer is yes… if you don’t mind going a little crazy.

Listen, I love my kiddos with all my heart, but I’m also my own person with my own passions, hobbies, friends, and life. And that’s a beautiful thing too. Just because I’m a Mom doesn’t mean I’m only a Mom. I can GASP be BOTH at the same time. And I love Paw Patrol as much as the next person – but when I started seriously wondering if Sky would choose Rubble or Chase to marry – I knew I needed some me time.

So what does that look like? Before sports and extracurricular activities came into play, it meant that each week my husband and I each got a night off from parenting. This was sacred. Unless there was blood, you couldn’t call or message the other spouse. That included no whining messages. Nothing that would take away from the enjoyment of the free parent’s night. The whining could happen the next day because we’re still humans here.

On those nights, I’d either hang out with friends, go to the gym, shop, read, or do some crafting. Whatever tickled my fancy!

I did quickly learn that staying in the house with children didn’t quite go as planned because they were sharks and could smell blood in the water, and I was never really left alone. So, out into the world I went, and it was glorious.

After those nights, I always felt like my cup was full again. I had more patience. I didn’t feel the burnout that so many parents feel. I felt excited to be with my kids again. I felt sane, and during particularly tough weeks with my kids, I knew freedom was coming my way for a few precious hours. It felt like a light at the end of some dark tunnels.

As the kids get older, it’s become harder to commit to one night off every single week for each parent. Between sports, extracurricular activities, and everyone’s busy schedules, we’ve had to adjust. Now we try to alternate weeks so that we each get one night off every two weeks. We also make a point of encouraging and supporting those spontaneous nights with friends when they come up because sometimes those unexpected moments are the ones we need the most.

Was there Mom guilt? Of course. Can you even be a Mom without Mom guilt? But I knew the pros outweighed the cons, and that most of the Mom guilt was just my imagination playing tricks on my mind.

Taking time for yourself does not make you a lesser Mom. It makes you a human doing life for the first time (because we are all still trying to figure out everything for ourselves). It makes us better parents. It reminds us that we’re people too. We just happen to have some pretty awesome sidekicks beside us most of the time.