Here comes a controversial viewpoint as a parent… but I’m going to throw it out there anyways.

You. Do. Not. Have. To. Put. Your. Kids. In. Competitive. Sports.

There, I said it. And I meant it.

I’ve been talking to parents of kids who are involved in competitive sports, and my mind is honestly blown. For some levels of hockey, I’ve heard costs ranging from $4,500 for rep hockey to over $20,000 for AAA once you factor in fees, travel, coaching, equipment, tournaments, and all the extras that come along with it.

And hockey isn’t alone. Competitive dance, gymnastics, and other sports are looking at similar price tags.

Now listen, I love my kids with all my heart. But there is no way I’m spending that kind of money on an extracurricular activity, even if we could afford it.

Which honestly leads me to wonder… how are families affording this?

We make a decent income, and that kind of expense would seriously impact our finances. Are families going into debt for their kids’ sports? Are more parents selling feet pics on OnlyFans to pay for it? (No judgement. Good for you if you’re able to make a run of it.)

But seriously, those numbers are staggering.

And that’s for one child.

If I had three kids in competitive sports, my entire salary (and probably all of my free time) would be going towards their activities. And personally, I just can’t justify that.

Plus, let’s be honest… none of my kids are heading to the Olympics with the sports genes they were given from their parents. So there’s that.

When our kids started getting to the age where sports and activities became a thing, we made a decision early on: they could do one recreational activity per season.

And honestly? It has worked really well for our family.

It gives us balance. (Seriously, my brother and sister-in-law practically live at the hockey arena or the ballfield.) It also gives us the opportunity to spend money on experiences that our entire family can enjoy.

Because $20,000 could also be a pretty incredible family trip to Europe. Or a lot of magical meals with Mickey Mouse at Disney. Or countless other memories that we could all experience together.

And that brings me to another piece of this conversation: the time commitment.

The amount of time that competitive sports require from an entire family is wild.

The practices. The games. The travel. The tournaments. The weekends.

We see all the memes about dinners eaten in the car, not seeing your spouse, or missing time with your other kids, and somehow we’ve turned being completely overbooked into a badge of honour.

But I think it’s worth asking ourselves: is it actually serving our families?

At one point, extracurricular activities fit around a family’s schedule.

Now, it often feels like the family schedule revolves around extracurricular activities.

And I’m not sure that’s always the best thing in the long run.

Now, before anyone gets upset, I want to be very clear: if competitive sports are where you want to spend your money, time, and energy because it brings your family joy, that is absolutely your choice.

There are incredible lessons that come from sports. Discipline, teamwork, friendships, perseverance, and confidence are all amazing things.

But what I don’t want to see is families spending small fortunes on competitive sports because they feel like they have to.

Because everyone else is doing it.

Because it feels like the status quo.

Because they’re worried saying no means they aren’t giving their kids enough.

So here is your permission slip:

You can say no.

You can choose recreational sports.

You can choose family time.

You can choose vacations, experiences, or simply a little more breathing room in your schedule.

You are still a fantastic parent if you say, “We can’t afford that.”

You are still a fantastic parent if you say, “We don’t want that lifestyle.”

Your kids will still grow into amazing little humans with a sense of belonging, responsibility, confidence, and pride.

And it doesn’t have to come with a $20,000 price tag.